What is mum guilt? Why the ‘F’ are we experiencing this guilt?
The guilt starts from the day we find out we’re pregnant. You’re a hormonal crazy lady who is seconds from ripping your partner to shreds or breaking down, into your ice cream cone because you didn’t get given a flake in your 99! (How dare they deprive your foetus of some chocolatey goodness?)
Then you start feeling guilty because you should be meditating and relaxing for your baby and being more vigilant about the right foods you’re eating, because you don’t want them exiting the womb being addicted to Cadbury’s flakes.
Once your precious bundle is here, you’re hormonal, sleep deprived and sore. You are begging them to fall asleep just to get some peace and quiet and not demand anymore milk because your nipples are blistered and sore and all you want to do is put your new saggy boobs into a bucket of ice and pass out.
Then they fall asleep and you bloody well miss them. You find yourself staring into their cot looking at their puffed out cheeks sleeping like a god damn angel. Wake up and cuddle me!
Then they hit the 6 months stage and your still sleep deprived but now with a teething baby. They’re crying, you’re crying, the cat next door is crying. It’s just one big mess. What can we do to distract them from this pain? So we stick some corny TV on where a middle age man is dancing in Lycra next to a green and yellow spotted dinosaur singing the most agonising song that you end up singing along to once again.
You know it’s only temporary, they can’t explain their pain and you know 14 hours of TV is not good for them so really need to find another way of distraction. On a serious note, do you think you can hire the characters for a day or two? Asking for a friend! (Please note I don’t really let Roman watch 14 hours of TV a day, I do try to keep it to a maximum of 12 hours)
Once they hit the toddler stage you’re a crumbled up piece of leftover mess, all your ideas of raising a child has gone to shit. The dog gets fed better than your child now, because that beautiful meal you slaved over has been launched to the floor and is being moped up by your Chihuahua. (At least he’s enjoying it) You also find that you have restricted them to one room at a time as they just want to turn you house upside down.
I like to make sure Roman eats different meals to keep him from getting bored of the same thing but in reality, this isn’t always possible as some days he will only eat muffins and crisps. I feel guilty but if it’s the only substance I can get him to eat then at least he hasn’t gone hungry.
I like Roman to roam free and not feel restricted as I know he’s just curious and wants to play but no, I will not let him go into the kitchen and take out my last remaining bit of gin and tip it all over the floor. That is my own sanctuary.
I will leave you with this:
We feel guilty because we care. We only want the best for our little ones. “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile” – Albert Einstein.
Thank you for reading