*Swigs wine from the bottle* this will be our savour to get us through the journey we are about to embark on as we enter the toddle stage. Now the toddler stage is like taking a trip down the yellow brick road but without Dorothy clicking her shiny red shoes and singing happily. You will however learn all the words to such songs as Pepper Pig, Blaze or a new favourite of Paw Patrol which will be on repeat all day every day because it’s the only thing to distract them while you open another bottle of Pinot Grigio… wait is that my 3rd?
You will eventually find the courage to put the alcohol down and step outside with your toddler knowing they will run off, or throw a tantrum in the middle of Tesco’s. You will also find it in your heart that even though they have drained the shit out of you all day and their relentless behaviour doesn’t settle until bed time, you still love them like crazy. You will wish they used their brains to not run into a non-moving object and will stop climbing everything they could because one more bump to the head will defiantly lead to some questionable parenting.
So by all means let’s start
March – 12 Months
• Did you hear once they reach 12 months they can go on to full fat milk? Yep that’s right, milk straight from the carton. The one thing that finally feels manageable. Unless you are still breastfeeding then you keep doing what you’re doing. You won’t need to pack a small kitchenette every time you step outside or wait for that god damn bottle to cool down. The only thing I didn’t expect when we switched to whole milk was that my little man would be sensitive to the lactose. When he started throwing his guts up just days later, which we assumed to be a tummy bug the first time around but after it continued, we knew something wasn’t right. We spoke to a dietician and a doctor, who advised some toddlers, can be allergic to the lactose in the milk within the first two years. Once we tried Roman on lactose free milk the vomiting stopped almost instantly. There are many different choices of alternative milks I.E Lactose free, oat milk, almond etc. that you don’t just have to settle on one. Find the right choice for your little one.
• This year I celebrated my first mother’s day. We went to a beautiful restaurant called The railway inn it’s in the heart of Sanford which is just a short drive to the Cheddar Gorge. It is also next door to the Thatcher’s cider factory; if this doesn’t scream Somerset, I don’t know what does. Everything about the day was beautiful.
April – 13 Months
• When you hear Terrible two’s, you assume these starts at the age of two. Let me stomp all over that thought. Roman started at the age of 13 months. Some days he is the most well-mannered little ball of joy. Other days it sounds like I’m slaughtering him to the pigs. It really is Oscar winning.
• I find it fascinating to watch him learn to walk; he started out so straight legged and has learnt to control his balance and relax as he walks. He does use his hands for balance.
• Roman had his first year jabs done this month. I felt more confident going in this time around. With Roman being that bit older. I felt he was stronger and could understand what was happening. Though it will never be something I really want to witness, especially when its four jabs in one go
. • It was also Easter, which let me tell you, Roman was in chocolate heaven. I let him indulge in all that chocolatey goodness. Then we went for a carvery at the greedy goose in Long Ashton. Perfect.
May – 14 Months
• Slap, smack and head butt. With the tantrums and Roman trying to be more boisterous, sometimes he hits out. If he catches you (which are usually to the nose or cheek) I’m out for the count. I just wanted to play with the cube blocks not step into a ball pit ring and wrestle with my maniac toddler! I did not sign up to cage fighting.
• He has started eating with his cutlery. I introduced it fairly early, but he would just hit it into his food and then launch it on the floor. I started picking food up and helping it into his mouth. (He does like to use his hands still but he’s improving
• Roman has always been a bad sleeper. Wakes in the night, hard to get back to sleep and back into his cot. So this month felt like a turning point. Roman started sleeping some nights, until 6am Unfortunately this was short lived. For a brief minute I thought we had mastered the troubled nights but it does vary from day to day. Every day is a new challenge.
June – 15 Months
• Please don’t tell me I’m on my own with this, but I do not look forward to brushing Roman’s teeth anymore. I am not saying this to sound like a terrible mum but Roman goes in to hysterics when he sees the sight of his tooth brush. He used to be great when we were brushing the two little choppers at the front. As soon as more popped through he went into melt down. I get more paste round his face than I do on his teeth. I just pray this gets easier.
• HE IS FINALLY EATING FRUIT. I have waited so long for this. I was gutted when he would pretend to heave, as i slipped in a cut up strawberry. After attempting a dozen more times, I can officially say Roman LOVES strawberries, raspberries, apricots and cherries. Hallelujah.
• HE POOPED IN THE BATH. EWWW. I could even bring myself to fish it out, “HELP… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP ME”
July – 16 Months
• I have noticed a huge development in Roman this month. He imitates you and understands what you’re asking from him. For example if I say have you pooped, he will run away into the corner of the room. If I say time for a bath, he will run to the stairs, and begin climbing. (Bath time really is his favourite time of the day) if I say ‘Pass toy to mummy’ He will hand it straight over to Daddy. (They have a secret pack apparently.)
• He tries to repeat what you say though most of the time it is still babbles. There are a few words he can repeat like ‘Mum’ ‘Dad’ ‘two’ ‘oohh’ ‘dog’ etc.
• He did manage to chew two of my lipstick one being MAC and the other being ESTEE LAUDER. My little heart broke when I noticed them both smudged round his face and into his white t-shirt. A little bit of me died that day.
August – 17 Months
• My son has turned into a performing monkey. Though he’s pretty rubbish on demand. “Wave bye” “Who’s your favourite” “say mummy”. I know he can but now he’s going to be a stubborn bugger and ignore everything I’ve said and just stare at me with a blank expression.
• THE CLIMBING- it’s uncontrollable. He tries to climb anything and everything. I’m a trembling wreck
. • When he has a tantrum now, he starts bashing his head against doors and floors. Is this normal? Should I be worried? Has he just seen his mummy do it too many times?
• He’s learning to become a vampire or a fucking shark because once he smells fleshy skin; he will chew your shoulder like it’s a cupcake.
• I’ve have to double up on my mind reading skills because his no, also means yes, but that shouldn’t be a problem for us mums, because we are super hero’s right? No? Aww fuck.
Well that’s it. Another 6 months has passed already. You really do have to hold on tight each day, because these moments aren’t slowing down. My little darling has gone from a teeny tiny new-born to a walking, talking (babbling) little ball of beautiful chaos. Enjoy each and every day, even when the days seem impossible, because one day those days will be gone. Our babies will be all grown up and independent. Updates to follow on 18 to 22 months (hopefully not as quick as these last 6 months have gone)
Thank you for reading Xx